Carmella's Hang Out

Today was a bit of a bummer day.
While sending out the Christmas packages the other night, at Meijer, a former co-worker came up to me and asked if I would come back to work up at the Service Desk, as they are short handed and in great need of help. I told her I did not think that I would be taken back, but she was sure of it and urged me to talk to the managers about returning for at least the Holiday season. After talking it over with Mum and Dad, and knowing it could do nothing but help my bank account for the coming car repairs that are needed, I went back in today to talk to one of my old managers about returning, perhaps even for a month or so. I really miss it there, having a team, working with people, having a purpose, a task, a mission. {I am thankful for the mission field God has placed me in now, however, at Meijer there were more oportunities to act on those missions I felt He had given me. Now..I have Saturdays and Sundays in between ticket sales to try and reach them. And I often feel like what I have just said gets lost in thier minds after “One ticket? Dollar seventy five, here is your change, your ticket, and your punch card. Go stand over there at the gate and we will let you in when the next ride is ready.” and so I have to start all over again.}

At first, when I went into the store {we also had to send out another box and pick up some things for our candy making} I thought I would leave Kade in the Service Desk line to mail the box, as I went to the office to talk to whichever manager was on. However, when I got to the office, I found that they were all gone on lunch or some kind of a walk away from the Service Dept. Everyone that saw me, though, or that I talked to about which manager was on, asked if I was coming back to work and really seemed happy that I said I was trying. It was a nice feeling! Even a guy who was not all that fun to work with {a down right pain in the butt most times actually} said they needed me back and he was sure I would be starting soon.

When I finally spotted a manager, I left Kade to go speak with him. Even since I left, he has been very nice and always stops to say hi and inquire how I am and what I am up to. I said my hello and then that I had a question for him. He replied with “Yes you can come back to work.” I laughed and then told him not to get ahead of himself…..because I knew he was thinking I meant full time. I explained to him that I had heard they needed help at the desk, a fact wich he confimed, and that if they needed me, I was willing {and wanting} to give up my days off at the carousel to work the desk for them. While he started out with a ‘Yeah..great. You’ll start right away’ attitude…he then thought for a second and realized what I had just said. “What days off do you have?” I then told him that I only had my schedule till the first week of January….but that I worked the Saturdays and Sundays…a fact I knew was not going to help me in getting a position there at the store.

He too seemed bummed when I told him that, but also did not want to give up all hope yet, and so asked what times I worked on those days. HEE, he was willing to try and work it out so that I worked at Meijer after my shift at the mall….so that we could get around Union rules. See, due to the union, I HAVE to be able to work weekends to have a job there. The fact that I already have a job that has me someplace else those days does not bode well. Yet, even with him trying to get around it, there is no way to get around the fact that I cant work Sunday mornings, but work the afternoon and evening at the Carousel and therefore can not even pull a 6-11 shift at the desk like he was going to do for me on Saturday.

Though he said he was going to talk to the Service Lines Team Leader, we both know there is not much that can be done to get me allowed back with things the way they are. I also know that there is no way I can leave my job right now, without loosing whatever headway I have made with my boss in leading her to or towards the Lord. It just is not right, and I cant do it. I told her that when I leave {and I have told her I will leave. There is not much chance that I will stay there for years and years like Meijer} I will give her fair warning, and time to find someone to replace me. This can not be done now before Christmas, and in time for me to start back at Meijer. Besides, I cant leave my job at the carousel for the one at Meijer for the simple reason that we have plans in 2006 that would not work with me still being at the store. I had just wanted to help out for a month or two while they were so busy, while still working at the mall, and getting some help in paying for the damage on my car. My manager was wanting me to come back for good. He told me as much. Even said that if I change my mind and ever DO want to come back for good, they will take me back anytime……….long as I can work weekends so the union does not jump on them.

As we were talking, he got an idea. I could come back and work as a door greeter! lol. Though it is not at all what I went in for, and will not work out either, it was very sweet of him to try so hard to allow me to come back. It will do no good for me to go back as a greeter, however, with the vaation plans and such in 06 that I would not be able to get the time off for there, and it does not help them one bit with the service desk. He thought of it though, because it is a job not in the union and therefore he would be able to work my schedule around what I needed and not around union rules. I turned that down.

I am not totally heart broken. I think the warm welcome I see I would have gotten softened the blow of not being able to work out a small come back. When we talked about it at home though, I got a little emotional over all the things I have to plan around in the new year. It is not that there are things I dont want to do, it is that, in order to do all the things on the ‘to do list’ I have to get THE PERFECT JOB, and I am starting to loose faith that it is out there. My ‘needed job outline” looks something like this:

No lifting
Can sit or stand when needed
Allow for three weeks off in August and September
Work Monday-Friday only at least in a few weeks of July and all through August, September, and October.
Preferably not working alone

Does a job like this exist? And in Michigan to boot? Yeah, I thought so. I can stand giving in on a few things, but at times it looks as though I have to give up ALL of those. It is when I start thinking along these lines that I get stressed, and scared, and flustered. And then I just cry. I really hate it when I just cry.

To top it all off…I made cookies. Now this does not sound like a bad ending to the day…..unless you know the one detail I didnt. Cookies need sugar.

Ok, so I know that….but in the midst of my brother coming home from work, me mixing everything together while we all chat…..I neglected to add the sugar to the batter. Just SKIPPED right over that part.

Even this would not be so bad….if it were not for the fact that I did not find this out until nearly all six dozen of them were baked and being packed in bags for our cookie plates to be given out later next week.

It is now 3 in the morning and I am still up trying to get all of the clothing for Mums Christmas gift washed and dried and in bags. The drier does not seem to want to dry ANYTHING tonight…and I found that we got two things that are dry clean only, and are both a different colour so they have to be washed in different loads from everything and one another.

Lord, please let tomorow go better.

All in all, things were not horrid, but at 3 in the morning, the day looks really awful.

Sorry to rant. It is perhaps not the best thing to type up a blog post at this time.

Phl 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Rom 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose