Carmella's Hang Out

{I’ve made some posts in my other blogs, but have not posted here. So…here is an update.}

Last night, I finally finding my large CD binder, and it was by the by, sitting pretty much in plain view {reminds me of a movie I just watched not to long ago “Best place to put something you want to hide, is to hide it in plain sight} andywhoo, as I was going all over looking for it, Dad says “Whatcha lookin for?” I said I was going out to the van to find my CD’s. See, I have a round CD case that holds my ‘now’ CD’s. The ones I am listening to these days, the one that is easier to pack and has my newest albums. That is the one I was sure I had left in the van after shopping day Friday. For the past few months, however, I have also been looking for my large case. The one that holds many other CD’s and any singles I got in the past. He asked “Do you mean that one?” and pointed beside the couch, the side the is close to the wall but not touching. Whatdoya know? There it was. That was not the one I was looking for at the time, but hey! I was happy! {Oh, and I found my nice little round blue velvety one out in the van right where I was sure it was. I had left my walkmen out there too! Good thing none of the car theft took place last night!!! heh. I would have lost most of my favourites! Thank you Lord for keeping them safe!}

So after I found the large pack, I went about arranging them inside. Each time I organize that thing I have a new pattern. Sometimes it is by genre, other times it is alphabetically, others yet it is arranged by most listened to or anything that strikes my fancy at that moment. This time, I put them full albums, then singles, then a few computer programs {one from college, Half Life, and my two Lord Of The Rings programs.}

Today, I started reading a new book. It is by Stephen Baldwin, and is called “The Unusual Suspect”. So far, there have been some really great chapters in it, that make me really, really hope that his dedication to Christ, and the turning over of his life to the Lord, as he says he and his wife have done, is for real.

Friday, after coming home from grocery shopping, I found that my letter of medical necessity had come in the mail!! Now, this does not mean much as far as GETTING the machine, since I already knew that the fax had been sent. But it is quite cool to have the copy of it for myself. I have two copies for home, and I gave a copy for my file at PT. I must say though, reading it, was a bit of a shock!! heh. This is the first time I have seen all the problems with my back written down!! I have names for them now!! YAY.

“She is under our care for Bilateral lumbar radiculopathy, L5-S1 spondylolisthesis and lumbar disc disease.” My physical therapist thinks the word “Degenerative” is missing from the Disc disease part. {Meaning that the name for what I have is really Lumbar Degenerative Disc Disease}

It goes on to say that the unit as prescribed is a medical necessity in the doctors eyes for me to help alleviate the pain and discomfort, and that I am also being given proper instruction for excesses that will help strengthen the affected area, and help minimize further injury.

I called the medical supply place today……she didn’t know what I was talking about. *sob*sniffle*cry* I went through the entire thing…AGAIN….about how I have been trying to get this thing taken care of since January, and she was confused as to why I would be calling them! So I tried to go into more detail, and she asked who has my case. I don’t know, I tell her, no one ever gives me a name! She tried to explain that after the Rx is given to them, the insurance company is contacted, and that they {the Med Sup} would get back to me if there was anything more needed. I tried to tell her that is what happened, but that now I want to make sure the insurance company got the letter of medical necessity, and that more progress is being made in the way of getting things approved. She said the woman who takes care of all the faxes was not available, so she didn’t think there was anything that could be done for me. As I was trying to explain that I really needed to make sure that something was being done on my case, and that I was not being ignored once more, I was near to tears…and…..the line cut out. Now, my phone was dying, in great need of a recharge, but I know it was not my phone the hung up. Somehow, the lady on the other end, hung up on me mid sentence. There was another time in the conversation that she had asked if I was still there….this time it was my turn. I tell you, I could have burst into tears right then and there. I am better now. Not so close to crying. I shall call back tomorrow and tell them I need to find out who is working on my case. I shall do my best to convey to them that I am not trying to be a pain, simply that I am tired of being ignored and want this to be dealt with. And I shall not use my cell phone, to make sure that batteries do not die on me.

In other “back” news, last night, my boss pretty much told me she didn’t think I could be in as much pain as I say I am. For one thing, her husband has been told he will be in pain for the rest of his life, and he never complains. Another thing, as she said “My back is as bad off as yours and working at the carousel does not make me have extra pain, so I don’t see how it would yours.” I suppose this means I complain too much, something I really try not to do. And it also shows that she does not like to think someone else might have a bit harder of a time that she. So, pretty much, she calls me and gets mad because I said I would have to pray about taking on more hours, {more hours means more times that I could damage my back again….if I’m going to damage it more, I want it to be because of MY kids, not others! heh.} she then in my opinion belittles the condition of my back and how much pain I may or may not be in….then still wants me to cover more hours. A few hours later she called back acting as if nothing had happened before, and again went into this “I just can’t think of you and my husband being in that much pain all the time.” {Cause we can never mention that I have a bad back without also bringing up her and her husband.} She even proved she has no idea what is wrong with my back when she asked about the cysts in my back!!! I explained that the cysts are not in my back, that is the PCOS, something totally different. That confused her, cause if there were not cysts on my spine, what was causing the pain…..what burst? I tried to explain more about it, but I still don’t think she got it cause she continued to say that she was just as ‘damaged’ as I was and was not in as much pain as I claimed to be.

I don’t want sympathy! I don’t want people to have to treat me with kit gloves. I really do try not to bring up the pain or anything. It has been brought to the for front now with the PT and trying to get this silly IFC unit, but even then, the only reason I bring it up, or type about it, is because I am frustrated. I don’t even see my boss much anymore, that is the funny thing. I see her maybe once a month, sometimes not even that…sometimes I go two or three months without running into her. We might talk on the phone a few times a month, cause she had a question, or I needed to find something out. But that is it. I don’t work with her, I don’t see her, I don’t talk to her all that much….but I guess she thinks I complain too much.

My boss was SHOCKED that I love PT! “I hate my physical therapy. You don’t? Really? Come on, you must?” Really…this is what she said! When she asked how PT was going I said “Great!! Oh I love it! Really! I have so much fun!” and she just could not believe it! Kept having to ask…I guess she thought I was joking, since she hates whatever PT she has to have done.