Carmella's Hang Out

—–@—Dear Friend—@————-

Oh the pain you must feel I can not share
But the burden you carry I’ll help to bare
No distance can hinder a friendship so strong
No space is too big too large or too long
Protection and comfort our dear Lord will give
We shall love Him and praise Him as long as we live
So while we’re apart and I can not be there
Never forget my dear friend, how I care.
-For Naomi-

——@—I don’t Know—@——-

I don’t know
And don’t like how that feels
I don’t know
Maybe it isn’t real
I don’t know
Makes me sick inside
I don’t know
Want to run and hide
I don’t know
Is it all in my head?
I don’t know
But it’s late, time for bed.

—–@—–In Dreams—-@——-

In my dreams it all comes true
For in my dreams you love me too
In my dreams the pain is gone
Dreams all fade with coming dawn
All my dreams are filled with joy
Its because of that one boy
While my days are filled with sorrow
There is hope yet for tomorow.

—————-@———–Lost—————-@——————-

I lost my one true love today and he didnt say goodbye.
I should not be surprised by this, since he never did say Hi
In my dreams I planned a life of which he never knew
And now it seems that all those dreams, never shall come true.

——@–The Moment–@———-

I rounded the corner and saw him there
No longer could I move
I didnt think that I would care
My feelings I misjudged
What should I say what should I do?
I stood unable to budge
Did he see me, I did not know
Lost in memory for awhile
And though I knew that I should go
It seemed I could not do it
I held my breath and tried to think
And search for things to say
I stood up tall and in a blink
Saw it was not him at all.

—–@—Still here—-@—–

In pain and in sorrow
You comfort me now
You plan for tomorow
At your feet do I bow

In joy and in laughter
Still you are there
Now and ever after
I know that you care

From your throne on high
You shower your love
Though nothing am I
You protect from above

You gave your Son
And you paid my fee
By me could not be done
Now I am free

My life I give
So you are seen
Each day I live
A gift you deem

——@—Happy Mothers Day—@——

Some people work to put out fires
And some people have to sort out the liars

Others work hard to comfort and heal
While others try to make dreams real

There are those who live to teach
And others the Lord’s Word to preach

While we are greatful for all these others
Where would we be if not for our Mothers?

A Mother has to put out small fires
And a Mother has to sort out the liars

A Mother works hard to comfort and heal
A Mother makes all our dreams become real

A Mother lives, her children to teach
And the Lord’s Word to them does preach

A thankless job is what some say
Of a Mothers work each and everyday

This is not right, and should not be
For I know how precious my Mothers to me

I hope it shows more than once a year
How much I love and hold her dear

To not ONLY my Mother but all the rest
You have to know that you’re the best

Thank you Lord for the gift of a Mother
For her love is like no other

Happy Mothers day one and all
Thank you for answering that wonderful call!

—–@—Our Soldiers—@——-

Sitting here trying to hold back the tears
As I think about people who all through the years
Have braved through trails and over come fears

Those namesless figures with the unkown faces
In far away countrys and such distant places
The tankers and bobmers and hight flying aces.

These days thier faces arent namesless at all
Their Franklyn and Thomas, Joshua and Paul
All people who heard it and answered the call

My family, my neighbors, best friends, new brothers
Who’d all be home safe if I had my drothers
Though I hear them saying, just like many others

“I’m needed here now, Lord please protect me.
Never forget us when down on your knee
Someday I’ll be home, when these people are free.”

They come back as men, though the left us as boys
Not soon gone the days, of playing with toys
The laughter and singing replaced by the noise

Of loud gunshots ringing, of fires and pain
Homesickness and sadness all for the gain
To make sure the others died not in vain

Lord give them courage, and strenghthen each heart
Though from all thier families, they are now apart
Help those that love You, show how great though art

Be with my friends, God, who fight now for You.
Remind them in Your name, all things they must do.
And make sure they know, that we love them too
-For Paul and Josh-

—@—Prayers—@——–

Oh How quickly prayers can change
And how wide the pleas do range
First I prayed Lord let it be
Please Lord Please let it be me
Then I prayed Lord let me know
Tell me please which way to go
Then it was Oh Please Lord No
Do not say that it is so
Now I ask Lord fix my heart
Mend the seams now torn apart

—-@–Still Hurt–@——

In dreams we see in dreams we do
Yet when we wake they’re gone
Night by night we fall asleep
Forever they will go on

Why is it hard just to stand
Yet easy so to fall
Why when dreams can hurt so bad
Do we dream at all?

Yet bigger still the question is
Why do I let it bother
Since months ago I thought it done
I’d given it to the Father.

—–@–Tara’s Birthday–@——

The time in life is like a tree
Each year that passes by we see
Just adds to our legacy

As time goes by and we get old
We stay and wait to be told
For what God plans our lives to hold

In His mercy and His grace
He sees to every time and place
And comforts us in every case

I wish for you to hear me say
On this sunny day of May
I wish for you a good birthday

To so many you are dear
May God bless and hold you near
In this next good coming year
-For Tara-

—–@——Weak———-@———–

You bless me Lord each day and night
Many lessons I have yet to learn
I desire to know Your will and path
For this knowledge I do yearn

Are you pleased with what I do
Or do I daily stumble?
Do I miss the plan you set
To cry and moan and mumble?

Why do these thoughts inside me grow
When I know they are not true
Why do I look into the world
When all I need is You?

So many poems that I have written
Are often about me
When they should be about your love
Not some fake humility

Is it my youth or lack of growth
That causes me not to show
To live is Christ to die is gain
So said Paul long ago

I do not wish your name to hide
Please keep my mind on Thee
Help me spend such times in pity
Instead on bended knee

—@——Ask them about terror”—-@——–

Ask an American when terror started
“September 11th, when two towers parted”
Ask a Jew and there is no date.
So long ago when it started, the hate.
Why does a mother in Egypt huddle,
Keeping her children warm with a cuddle?
Why does a father in India burn in a car
And his family not run, run away far?
What is the difference between thin and us?
They deal with it by prayer, while we curs and cuss.
Americans are busy, pointing the blame
When really we should be, feeling the shame.
A man in Hmong will tell you quite clear
Why he feels so calm, who has taken his fear
A woman in Vietnam sits in a jail
But its not for herself, that she may wail.
For she has been comforted, by the One
Who long ago, for us, sent His Son.

Ask an American, when terror started
“September 11th, when two towers parted”
We’re to busy asking “Why, God, why”
To realize its our fault, break down and cry.

So why is there a difference for American and Chinese?
Because we’re to busy yelling
While they are on their knees!

——@—–Musings—@———

A desire hath He placed in my heart
It’s fullfillment I seek without fail
And though for the moment we’re apart
I know that the Lord will prevail

My mission is clear
And I know the plan
In which, no need to fear
In torture in death and in life
One goal I keep in mind
To step off the edge of this knife
And to things of this world be blind

Though the path is not short
Alone I do not wonder
But with my advocate in court
Who’s love I do now ponder

Why for me give His life??
Who for sin had turned my back
Why endoure that pain and strife
And show a love that has no lack?

Though to the world a fool
I need nothing more than this
Than to be used as a tool
His calling I shall not miss

I know I deserve not this gift
Now devote I my life to Him
Praises and joy do I lift
His light will never dim.

—-@——So Much Pain—-@——–

I feel it inside me each morning and day
When will it stop hurting, and the pain go away?
Have I ever hurt as much as I do right now?
I’m sure I’ll get through this I know I must,
Somehow.

As the days drip on by and each hour trickles past
My insides grow numb, how much longer can I last?
The days seem filled with darkness,
And at night there is no light
Do I have much left in me?
Will I lie down; give up the fight?

I know now, Lord, you are with me
Peace fills that empty space
Though some days I feel some bits of cold
Your love and light reside in that place

I know you will not leave me,
For you promised you would not
So please guide all my footsteps,
Remind me when I have forgot
You gave your life so long ago
Yet the gift still stays the same
In your Word it tells me so
Some day you will come again.

—-@—-Words From A Broken Heart.—@——

I want to cry, but tears will not flow.
I want to puke, but it just will not come.
What do I feel now? I just seem numb.
Could it be my age? Or has it not sunk in?
One day will I stop working?
Then will the pain begin?
This is not a new thing
And it will happen again
I am sure.
Till then I keep praying
For me, that’s the only cure.

——-@—-Voices—–@——–

Voices inside like I’m never alone
Yet when they are gone I’m alright.
Soon they come back, in my mind make thier home
I feel like I’m drowning, no light.

I know I’m not crazy and will soon be okay
But the pain is so deep and the feelings are real
And simetimes one second is more like a day
Wish I could turn off and no longer feel.

Traped in my head is the way it seems
When anger and joy rule my brain
Like an old attic with cobwebs on beams
Yet then they are gone washed in rain.

—-@—-Concider the Dew—-@—-

Dear reader at this moment
a request I have for you

Simple in word
simple in task
just think about the dew

In the morning as a blanket
laid upon the lawn

Sparkling drops of glitter
that by the noon are gone

Enjoyed by some at sun rise
these mirrors do not last

And by the time of sun set
from our minds have passed

Is it not the same sad way
with blessed that are given?

When they are new and shining still
our joy is never hidden

And yet when daylight slips away
and night falls round about

Thanksgiving is too soon replaced
by bitterness and doubt

Why are we only thankful
when the sun shines down its rays

And choose in darkness and bad times
to silent all our praise?

Does the dew not help the grass
only once it disappears?

Deep inside the root is where
the benefit appears

Though blessings seem to come and go
in times that drip on by

The One that gave them never sleeps
and reigns from up on high

Don’t let your praise,
like dew forgotten,
ever cease to be

For the gift He gave has not faded
that all man can be free.

—-@—-You Changed—-@—-
The Love that I once felt for you has changed to something new.
The pain of loss has been replaced with worries now for you.
You changed so much before my eyes and with that, new emotion
Sometimes it seems you are not you, with not the same devotion
The tears at night no longer for the fact you do not know
Instead they mourn a friend so dear, who lost some of his glow
My mouth is shut, I will not say the thoughts I scream inside
Since if you heard, I do not doubt, you would run away to hide.

—-@—-The Gift—-@—-

Bought with blood
My debt was paid
Upon a cross
The Purchase made
What I deserve
Is death and hell
Along with all
Mankind aswell
How great and good
Is my redeemer
Whose gift of love
I’m a receiver
He is the answer
To sadness and sarrows
Instead He offers
Un-ending tomorrows
He gave us His Son
His only begotten
So upon our request
Our sins be forgotten
The transactions been made
Now its up to you
To tak it or leave it,
What will you do?

—@——@—To Thomas and Jeniffer—@——@—

In Times of trouble no longer alone
For today two people make House into home.
In sadness or sorrow On each other do lean
For then Many benefits the two of you glean
A new life you start now as two become one
Stay truthful and honest So never undone
You’ve Just been married now my wish for you
That you Ever stay faithfu,l to each other be true
Now before family those vows have been said
Make God Number one and by Him be lead
In good times and bad, through all that you go
For better or worse you always will know
From this moment onward Ever you’ll be
Right next to each other in all you may see.

“To my good friends,
Thomas and Jennifer
Married October 22, 2005″

—@——@—Online Friends—@——@—

Come and take a step inside, this world I call my own
Here inside this online net my home away from home
Come and meet all those that wonder all around these rooms
Come to see the games and fun, escape the glood and doom.

Larien Annare our Beauty Queen regales us with an act
Sleeping Beauty, Belle from Beast so many its a fact

White Roses is my Cali friend I’ve known for many years
In that time we laughted ant talked and even shed some tears

SouthernKnight stands on a chair Debating many things
Such as the South and Civil War, and movies about Rings

Flueve Premier, if shes had coffee, will always be a hoot
Ask how she is today, she’ll probably say ‘goot goot’

Hopefullness is by a window ready with a prayer
No matter what is happening she always shows her care

MusiBeth will sing for you or play her violin
She loves talk of instruments from whistle to mandolin

Rand is grilling up a feast. Bugers, pasta, and cake
Everything each person asks for he is ready to make

Sabo is practicing to jump higher that ever
Each day on the high bar makes him better and better

M is over in a corner pen and paper near by
He writes poems and thinks up prose when not concing high

Ion’s bored and ready to go home from work
Then once again back to chatting sitting round in mIRC

Thats about it, I think we are done!
If ever you are bored you know where to come
Theres room for more so drop by, say hi
Theres always something going in the world of SAjMaKii!!

—@——@—Dont Look Down—@——@—
Close your eyes
And dont look down
Hold your breath
Try not to drown

Once she felt
Safe and secure
Now shes sad
And feels unsure

Cries ring out
Inside her room
Which feels too
Much like a tomb

Close your eyes
And dont look down
Hold your breath
Try not to drown

She still smiles
So no on knows
Just how much
Inside pain grows

Things must still
get done each day
Through the Lord
She finds the way

Close your eyes
and dont look down
Hold your breath
try not to drown

Cant remember
How things were
All the past seems
Like a blur

She has faith
She’ll be alright
And she prays
With all her might

Raise your eyes
Up to the skies
He has heard all
Of your cries.

—@——@—Please—@——@—

Tell me what you’re thinking
Tell me what you feel
All the things you’re saying
Are they even real?
Why pretend you’re happy
When you’re so very sad?
Why put on a fake front
When you’re so very mad?
I know the way to fix you
All the answers that you seek
But you choose not to hear me
You think that I am weak.
You think I am just joking
And you dont know I pray
That someday you will find Him
And the sadness go away
So Lord please tell me what to say
And tell me what to do
So one day this young friend of mine
Will give his life to you

—-@—Rushing—@—-
Everybody rushes
They rush to get ahead
Hopeing no one notices
That thier already dead

They dont have a reason
For anything they do
Everyday keep going on
With not much being new

Hoping Im not like them
I struggle on each day
In my heart is the knowledge
Of truth and life and way

—@–Spinning Wheels–@—

Spinning you wheels like a car out of control.
Trying so hard to look all ok.
Convincing the others you fit this new roll.
But what are the costs you’re willing to pay?
Your old friends are wondering what’s up with you now.
As we watch the old you disappear.
Hoping that someday you’ll come back, but how?
When you always seem so far, even when near.
Where went the dreams of which you told me?
Have you thrown them all away?
A year ago I didn’t think this is where you’d be.
Please turn around before much farther you stray.

 

 

—@—Let me be lonely—@—
Please do not be worried
For the state that I am in
For though I am quite lonely
My faith is still in Him.

Though I may be lonely
My lifes still in His hands
I continue on each day by day
To do all His commands

Please let me be lonely
Just say you understand
And while I am yet lonely
In prayer please offer your hand

 —–@—-Along the Side—-@——-

For miles and miles along I-75
There are crosses and wreaths for those no longer alive
Place there by all those who’ve been left behind
The memorials keep the lost always on mind.

We’re told life is a highway
Well if that is true
What would your highway look like to you?

First name and last name chiseled into a stone
Date of birth and date of death, names of those left alone
These tablets and memories are all that’s left
Of each life that has ended when twas claimed by death

Imagine life a graveyard
How full would it be?
What names in your graveyard would you see?

If all the people we’ve failed in our lifetime
Were names on stone or markers along highway seven nine
How many monuments would litter the side?
So many avoided if only we had tried

We’re told life is a highway
Let’s say that it’s true
What does that highway look like to you?

—-~@~Freedom, Drugs, and Brady~@~——-

I tried to reach you, but you were lost

You wanted your freedom no matter the cost.

A shattered face and fractured past.

Your escape came much too fast.

If I saw you today I wouldn’t know you.

They could tell me you’re dead, I’d believe it was true.

No goodbye or farewell you just took off running.

Empty hospital bed, you didn’t say where you were going.

You use to tell me how you felt unwanted.

If only you knew how your memory haunted.

Tell me, is freedom all that you hoped?

You’re more alone now and still trying to cope.

I miss you, but know I won’t see you again.

Sometimes your memory just fills me with pain.

Fast cars and drugs sped you away.

It was easy to see that you weren’t okay.

Though you are gone I’ve not let go.

I just wish there was someway to let you know.

Cuase where you have gone, I’ll never be.

And what you’ve become I don’t wish to see.

I long for the days when we were fifteen.

Back then this future I would not have foreseen.

I still have that picture that we took at camp.

Us by the flagpole all cold and damp.

We look so happy and we’re trying to be cool.

I didn’t know you’d play me the fool.