Carmella's Hang Out

Hello all. I know you have seen many many pictures from my fun adventures at the Michigan Renaissance Festival, but I am always saddened that I can not take you with me. SO! I am going to try and put a small patch on to fix up that gap in between our states…..called other states!!! I am taking you all on along with me to a day at the Michigan Renaissance Festival. Yes that is right……you are coming with me today!!

Welcome to HollyGrove!!! Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth Glorianna welcomes you to her country, and Mayor Dayyffyydd DeAnnggllyynn to his town of HollyGrove.

You are met at the door by a large crowd of people, all milling about laughing, talking, and planning what thier day has in store for them. “TEESHIRTS, get your TEESHIRTS here…….cant leave the Festival without your Michigan Renaissance Festival TEESHIRT, or MUG!!!”, we hear being yelled from the small Traveler’s Shop ‘Rememberance’. The time being now 10:00 in the morning, we must make our way over to “The Crown Stage” so that we can watch “The Zuchini Brothers”. We have half an hour before the show starts, so we can do some shoping on the way there. “Cassie’s Garlands & Posies” is our first stop, and we all buy Rose petal potpouri. We also stop in at “The Leather Jeweler” and “Wire Art Jewlry” before reaching the Crown Stage to watch the act. The show begins. The Brothers introduce themselves and Green and Ripe Zuchini and let us all know we were about to watch a show of DANGER! “You know it is about Danger because you can see the yellow boards with black stripes.” They are getting ready to juggle six of the most dangerous objects ever to be juggled. It is up to the audience to choose……do you want them to juggle the SPAM?! “Look, its the new Spam with the Zanier Taste!!” Yes, the crowd wants the Spam, AND the GARDEN WEASEL!!! OOOOOOOOOOO. The show is great, everyone is laughing,, the crowd goes wild with excitement as the two performers juggle flame and objects with the possibility of fatel injury.

With the sun shining, we now have half an hour before the next show we plan on seeing. During this time, we wander, doing more shopping and listening to the wonderful music that is drifting from every direction as the different street acts share thier talents with the passer-by. The Mud Stage is our destination, and we get there just in time for the begining of the Mudskippers show. Ooozie, Wank and Skippy begin the show by enlisting the help of the crowd in making much noise to atract more viewers. They run about the aisles waving their arms about and jumping up and down, and meet back in front of the mudpit. What is the story being told today? It may be the classic Hamlet. Nay, it seems as though today we will see Jack and the beanstalk……wait….no…correct that…..it is W and the beanstalk! Being very poor, W’s grandma has asked that W go into town and sell the family cow Bessy “Cow says MOO“. On the way to town, however, W is met by a street merchant who sells him a bag of majic beans for his cow. Poor cow! Along with the Mudskippers, the first five rows of the viewers get to join in the fun as they are splashed with Mud! One of the Skippers compairs it to Seaworld. ” Yeah, its an evil Seaworld”!!!!
“Stick around, WHIPBOY is up next right behind you.” we hear them say. Sure enough…here comes WHIPBOY, with his trunk of props on his head. He begins to shoo people off his stage, and set up for “The next comedy bull whip show starting in five minutes.” For the next thirty minutes, we watch stunts such as “The circus crack”, “The double crack”, “The triple Crack…a Crack I like to call Bubba”, and target work. He may even finish this show with his bonus stunt, as he gets out of the straight jacket he has had an audience member help him get himself into, in sixty seconds!!!

We had better grab a bite to eat! In less than twenty minutes, we have a wedding to attend! Today at the Field of Honor, Constance, the daughter of HollyGrove’s Mayor, is to be wed to one of the great Musketeers, D’Artagnan. {this being the begining to what is my favorite of all the Festival atractions}
The Queen herself is in attendance at this special event today. Musketeer and Priest, Aramis begins the ceramony, but…..what is this? Bursting on to the field just as the I Do’s are to be said, Envy, Pride, Wrath, Sloth and Lust. It is the seven deadly sins!! Still angry after the death of thier Captain Louis Saphire, at the hand of the Musketeers. A fight insues, but in true Musketeer fashion, the sins get thier butts kicked. Will the wedding continue now? NO! For here is a new Captain Saphire, Lucius the brother of Louis. To the shock of everyone around, Captain Saphire shoots all of the Musketeers, threatens the life of the Queen, and takes captive the beautiful young Constance. Off to the ship they run, leaving behind the lifeless bodies of the Musketeers……but look! They are not dead!! Making a promise to the Queen to save the lovely Constance, the Musketeers leave to tend to thier wounds.

Quickly now, we have to follow the Sins and thier new Captain to Griffon Stage to see what is to become of the Bride.
Before they are even at the stage, Constance’s screams can be heard rining out, as she is dragged to the ship. She manages to trap herself away from the pirates high in the crows nest, and as they all try to figure out how to get her down, the hurt but not dead Musketeers rush to the rescue. Once again, the Sins take a beating, Reunited at last, Constance helps her groom away from the ship, as the others make a vow to ‘finish’ things later. Saying he has a sure fire plan of victory, Captain Saphire takes off to make preparations and takes with him, one of his new Pirates, Lust.

We, too, are off again. This time to Igor’s Roost Stage to see “Ample and Trite: Nice Gurls With Whips.” This year, the festival has added interpreters for the deaf, and these woman go from stage to stage to help where they can! I think this is a cool addition, and sometimes find myself watching the interpreter rather than listening to the show!! hee!! This is another show where the audience plays a huge part in the act. After this, we have another half hour to wander around, but we MUST be back at this same stage at 3 in order to see Shanties and Shenanigans. “Hey Ho, lets go….here at Igor’s Roost come and see our show.” the words of “Blackflag Bop” filter through the surounding area as a clear call to everyone to come join in on the fun for the Pirates improv show! Here, we find that one of the Pirates has commited a crime. Wrath has killed someone, and it is up to the other three to pry a full confession out of him. The fun continues all the way through to the final Shantie, an ode to the foes of the Sins….the Musketeers, “We will Rob you.”
Time for more music now, over at the Tree Top Stage, with the family band Shae Laurel. We hear everything from a Renaisssance rendition of “Devil went down to Georgia” as they make two members of the audience Pope Clemment and King Henry in “King Henry went down to Rome.” Since there is no way you can view everything the Fest has to offer, Shae Laurel gives a run down of the acts going on at other stages in “The Renaissance Ho-down”. A quick trip to Middle Earth in their Self written “One Ring” and we are back in Renaissance time for the final song.

Behind us, once again on the Field of Honor, a game of Chess is being set up!! On one side, Constance leads the Musketeers, and on the other the Queen {really?} leads her guards {are you sure?}. The rules are very much like normal chess, except for the all the pons being removed, to make things mre fun. When two pieces meet on the board, the board is cleared by everyone else, and a battle for the right to stay follows between the two remaining players. It looks as though Aramis has met his match when he is challenged by “The Black Ninja”, but then this unknown man removes his mask and it is none other than Captain Saphire. {gasp} The other Musketeers spring to the aid of thier friend, but Saphire throws his sword to the ground and, hugging Aramis, asks for forgivness. He claims that the radient beauty of Queen Elizabeth has made him a changed man. Everyone once again gasps as the Queen then agrees to take the Captains hand in marriage. They, along with her guards, leave to make the arangments for the wedding which will take place back on this same field at “fourty five of the five.”

Now it is time to decide what to see next. Should it be the Full Contact Joust? If we are to head over there, we will see all of the large and beautiful horses, such as BJ, as they help thier knights battle to find a victor. “Who shall be named the winner of the Joust this day?” the call comes from the field. “Shall it be the knight for England? Or will Spain take the title today?” It is a wonderful story of battles, deciet, treachery, victory, honor, and defeat. We are sitting on the side of England and chear on our knight Sir Ollin.

Yet, if we choose to see this, we will miss the Rogue Blades who are on the Green Grove Stage for thier final show in which the have a bit more fun in, and decide to go away from the script. Dave the Knave {the greatest swordsmen that ever lived.} wants to fight the one, the only, Sir James, who is rumored to be a seven foot terror. Sir James has different ideas though, as he asks his Squire Paul {Huzzah!}to get him a volenteer to becoming a knight. A perfect blend of comedy, and superb swordmenship, we all laugh our heads off at the Rogue Blades.

Oh dear, look at the time! We must rush back to the Field of Honor for yet again another wedding. Queen Elizabeth has agreed to marry Captain Sapphire, and I have a feeling we shall want to be at these nuptuals. The Queen of all of England, Ireland, Whales, and the Virgina’s marrying the King of the Pirates!! In enters the Queen and her fiance, and the procedings begin. After the I do’s have been said, Queen Elizabeth advocates her throne to her new husband…..but wait.,…what is this? HUZZAH! It is Queen Elizabeth, followed by the Musketeers! The REAL Queen Elizabethe explains that the sash {a symbol of power now worn by Sapphire’s Bride}which was given to her by the people of the village for her silver jubilee, was stolen from her the same morning…….and she will fight for its return. The deal is struck that, should Sapphire’s Queen win the swordfight, it will be proven that she is the true Elizabeth. However, if it turns out that she looses, all involved {Sapphire, the bride and all thier gaurds} will be sent to the tower of London, and certain death. And so begins the test to see who is the real Queen. Sapphire’s bride attacks, but is quickly overcome by Queen Elizabeth, and taken down. Forced to tell all within earshot who has defeated her, Lust {Sapphire’s Bride} admits that she is not queen, and has infact been beaten by Queen Elizabeth Glorianna, and she begs for mercy. “Know that I am queen for many more reasons than that my Father died.” the queen announces as she walks away from the ‘fringed imposter’. {note….so as not to get into trouble for giving all the surprises away…..I am going to stop this story here!! Everyone should really go see it!}

Time now, for the Idiots Jamboree over at the Hunker Houser!! If we get there early, we should be able to see the members of the Jamboree {Delirio del’Arte cast members such as Piper, and Lester, and Blamo, and D.O.G out juggling flame, and knives, and playing with benches!!!! “Everybody say OOOO…..Everybody say AAAAhhhhhh, Everybody say Woo Woo!!!”

The time has come now, for us to head to the front gate. With the night coming to a close, everyone is getting along now! Being that it is hot, there is going to be ALOT of ice cream around!! hee!! The pirates are up at the front, talking with the Musketeers and singing songs to everyone that walks past. Though sometimes, even pirates need a rest.
I just heard the cannon fire, so we need to be getting to get outside the gate, so that we can sing goodbye along with everyone. They are sure to be playing limbo and listening to the drummers that are out there. The Queen is up on the walkway, along with the Kind of Spain and Mayor DeAnnggllyynn and will soon begin to “Bring on the starlight” to make “everything end right.” It has been a wonderful day, filled with such fond memories that shall last for such a long time!
Thank you for coming along with me on my adventure!!

The End